36-item romantic attachment check built around ECR-R-style anxiety and avoidance themes.

  • Answer for one current relationship or a clear recurring romantic pattern.
  • The report keeps anxiety and avoidance separate, then adds a light quadrant lens for orientation.
  • Your answers stay only in this browser unless you choose to export them.
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Attachment position map
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Balance and spread interpretation

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How to use this profile

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Standout item cues
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Answer review
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Adult romantic attachment patterns are often easiest to notice under pressure: a delayed reply, a partner needing space, a repair conversation after conflict, a request for reassurance, or a moment when closeness feels too exposing. Research measures commonly describe those reactions with two continuous dimensions. Attachment anxiety is the tendency to monitor for rejection, abandonment, fading affection, or unstable reassurance. Attachment avoidance is the tendency to protect distance, privacy, self-reliance, or emotional control when closeness feels risky.

The two dimensions should be kept separate because they answer different questions. Someone can feel intense abandonment worry while still wanting more closeness. Someone else can feel little abandonment fear while still finding dependence uncomfortable. A third pattern can contain both protest and withdrawal, especially when vulnerability raises the stakes. A two-axis profile keeps those differences visible instead of forcing every reaction into one attachment-style label.

Attachment anxiety
Relationship insecurity centered on rejection, abandonment, inconsistent affection, or needing stronger reassurance.
Attachment avoidance
Relationship insecurity centered on guarded distance, discomfort with dependence, privacy, or tension around emotional disclosure.
Relationship frame
The current relationship, recent relationship, or recurring romantic pattern held constant while answering every item.
Self-report boundary
A questionnaire captures endorsed reactions, not another person's motives, a diagnosis, or a complete safety assessment.
Two-axis adult attachment map A two-axis map with attachment anxiety increasing upward and attachment avoidance increasing to the right. Attachment avoidance Attachment anxiety Anxiety-led more reassurance monitoring Mixed guarded worry plus distance Secure-leaning lower insecurity signals Distance-led more distance protection 4.0 midpoint 1 4 7

Two-axis maps are helpful because they preserve degree. A person just over the midpoint on anxiety is not in the same practical situation as someone near the top of the scale, even if a shorthand quadrant label is the same. The score gap also matters. Anxiety at 4.10 and avoidance at 3.90 should be read more cautiously than anxiety at 5.80 and avoidance at 2.20.

Attachment profiles are reflection notes, not verdicts on a relationship. They can help organize journaling, therapy preparation, or a conversation about repeated reactions. They cannot tell whether a partner is trustworthy, whether a relationship is safe, or whether trauma, grief, coercion, depression, or practical stress is driving the response pattern.

How to Use This Tool:

Choose one relationship frame before starting, then keep that frame steady through all 36 statements.

  1. Decide whether you are answering for one current relationship, one recent relationship, or a recurring romantic pattern before selecting Start assessment.
  2. Answer all statements on the 1-to-7 agreement scale, from Strongly disagree through Strongly agree. The progress bar and count show how many items have a valid answer.
  3. Use the numbered question navigator to revisit an item. Checked rows are complete, and the active row shows the statement currently being answered.
  4. When the result appears, start with the summary value. A is the anxiety mean and V is the avoidance mean, each reported out of 7.
  5. Compare Top trait, Lowest trait, Spread, Profile balance, and Facet leader before treating the quadrant lens as shorthand.
  6. Use the Attachment position map to see the current point against the 4.0 midpoint lines and the historical reference mean.
  7. Open Standout item cues and Answer review when the result is surprising. Reverse-keyed prompts can make stronger agreement lower the scored insecurity signal.

If the summary, chart, or tables do not appear, look for a progress value below 36 / 36 answered and complete the missing navigator row before interpreting the profile.

Interpreting Results:

The anxiety and avoidance means are the main result. Values close to 4.0 sit near the neutral midpoint, so a mean of 4.10 should be described more gently than a mean of 5.80. Values below 3.00 are labeled Lower signal, values from 3.00 to below 4.00 are Midrange, values from 4.00 to below 5.00 are Raised signal, and values of 5.00 or higher are Strong signal.

Spread and Profile balance keep small differences from sounding too large. A gap below 0.40 is a tight balance, a gap from 0.40 to below 1.00 is a moderate skew, and a gap of 1.00 or more is a clear skew on the shared 1-to-7 scale.

High anxiety does not prove that someone is needy, wrong, or in an unhealthy relationship. It means the current answers endorsed more abandonment worry, reassurance monitoring, and sensitivity to lost warmth. High avoidance does not prove lack of care. It means the current answers endorsed more distance protection, guarded privacy, or discomfort relying on a partner.

Use Facet leader and Standout item cues as a reality check. If the strongest cue does not connect to a recent interaction, retake the assessment with a narrower relationship frame or discuss the mismatch before treating the quadrant lens as settled.

Technical Details:

The ECR-R tradition measures adult romantic attachment with two continuous scores rather than one category. Anxiety represents concern about partner availability, responsiveness, rejection, and abandonment. Avoidance represents discomfort with closeness, dependence, emotional disclosure, and turning toward a partner for support. Either dimension can be low, raised, or elevated at the same time as the other.

This proxy uses 36 original paraphrased prompts. Items 1 to 18 contribute to the anxiety mean, and items 19 to 36 contribute to the avoidance mean. The answer scale runs from 1 to 7. Reverse-keyed items describe calmer or more secure reactions, so agreement with those prompts lowers the scored insecurity signal.

Formula Core:

The scoring rule converts reverse-keyed answers first, then averages the 18 scored values in each dimension.

reverse-keyed score = 8 - raw response dimension mean = i=1 18 si 18

A reverse-keyed response of 6 becomes 2. A direct-keyed response of 6 stays 6. Anxiety and avoidance means are displayed to two decimal places after all scored values for that dimension are averaged.

Score construction for the ECR-R-style attachment proxy
Dimension Items Reverse-keyed items Possible mean Higher values indicate
Anxiety 1 to 18 9, 11 1.00 to 7.00 More abandonment worry, reassurance monitoring, and sensitivity to unstable affection.
Avoidance 19 to 36 20, 22, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36 1.00 to 7.00 More distance protection, guarded privacy, and discomfort relying on a partner.
Signal and spread boundaries for the attachment profile proxy
Rule Boundary Plain reading
Lower signalMean < 3.00The dimension sits clearly below the neutral midpoint.
Midrange3.00 ≤ mean < 4.00The dimension is present but not clearly above neutral.
Raised signal4.00 ≤ mean < 5.00The dimension crosses the midpoint and may shape relationship reactions more often.
Strong signalMean ≥ 5.00The dimension is elevated on the 1-to-7 scale.
Tight balanceAbsolute gap < 0.40The leading dimension is only slightly ahead.
Moderate skew0.40 ≤ absolute gap < 1.00One dimension leads, but by less than a full scale point.
Clear skewAbsolute gap ≥ 1.00One dimension stands out clearly against the other.
Quadrant rules for anxiety and avoidance midpoint crossings
Anxiety mean Avoidance mean Quadrant lens Use with caution because
< 4.00< 4.00Secure-leaningLower insecurity signals do not guarantee an easy or safe relationship.
4.00< 4.00Anxiety-ledThe label should be softened when anxiety is only slightly above the midpoint.
< 4.004.00Distance-ledHigher avoidance can coexist with care, commitment, or stress protection.
4.004.00Mixed guardedBoth worry and withdrawal may be active, so one shorthand label can miss the tension.

The chart includes an older reference-sample mean of 3.56 for anxiety and 2.92 for avoidance. That point is rough context only. Repeat profiles are most comparable when the relationship frame, answer style, and level of current relationship stress stay similar.

Responsible Use Note:

This is an informational self-reflection proxy, not an official ECR-R administration, diagnosis, treatment plan, or relationship safety assessment. It uses original wording around ECR-R-style anxiety and avoidance scoring.

Scoring happens in the browser, but privacy still depends on what you do with the result. A copied result link can include the response pattern in the URL, and CSV, DOCX, chart, or screenshot exports can reveal sensitive answers if shared or stored somewhere unsafe.

Worked Examples:

Reassurance worry leads the profile

A result with A 5.60 and V 2.40 is above the midpoint for anxiety and below it for avoidance. The summary points to anxiety as the top trait, Profile balance reads as a clear skew, and the best follow-up is to compare the highest Standout item cues with recent reassurance or abandonment worries.

A borderline midpoint split

A profile with A 4.10 and V 3.90 crosses the midpoint on anxiety by only 0.10 and misses it on avoidance by only 0.10. The quadrant lens may read Anxiety-led, while Spread and Profile balance show that the difference is too small for strong wording.

Both dimensions are active

A run with A 5.20 and V 4.80 crosses the 4.0 midpoint on both dimensions. The Mixed guarded lens can describe wanting closeness while also pulling away from it, but the Facet leader should decide which specific cue to journal first.

The result is not ready yet

If the progress text shows 34 / 36 answered, the summary and position map are not complete. Use the question navigator to find the unanswered rows, then recheck A, V, and the Attachment position map after the count reaches 36.

FAQ:

Is this the official ECR-R?

No. It is an original ECR-R-style proxy with paraphrased prompts. It follows the two-dimension scoring shape but does not reproduce the official questionnaire text or provide formal norms.

Why do some secure-sounding answers lower the score?

Reverse-keyed prompts describe calmer or more secure reactions. Their raw answer is converted with 8 minus response, so stronger agreement lowers the scored insecurity signal.

Can I use the quadrant lens as my attachment style?

Use it as shorthand only. The result is built from continuous anxiety and avoidance means, so Spread, Profile balance, and item cues matter more than a single label.

Why did the result not appear?

The result appears only after all 36 statements have valid 1-to-7 answers. Check the progress text and numbered navigator for any unanswered item.

Are my answers private?

The scoring is browser-side, but copied result links, CSV files, DOCX files, chart exports, and screenshots can expose the response pattern if you share them.

Glossary:

Attachment anxiety
Relationship insecurity focused on abandonment worry, reassurance need, and fear that affection may fade.
Attachment avoidance
Relationship insecurity focused on guarded distance, privacy, and discomfort depending on a partner.
Reverse-keyed prompt
A prompt where stronger agreement lowers the scored insecurity signal after conversion.
Quadrant lens
A shorthand label based on whether anxiety and avoidance are below or at or above the 4.0 midpoint.
Spread
The absolute difference between the anxiety and avoidance means on the same 1-to-7 scale.
Facet leader
The strongest single scored cue in the current response pattern.